Friday, July 6, 2018

Face it folks.. DNA doesn't lie

I get a email from ancestry saying I have a new message. I open it to find a message that says


“ hello, I’m messaging you cause we are a dna match and I hope you don’t call me the n word or reject me like other cousins I have messaged. I just want to know more about my ancestry. I’m not trying to start trouble. But yes I am black and I am saddened by some of the messages I get. I hope you will message me back but if not I’ll understand.“

This message made me sad and angry for him. So I messaged him back.
Hello cousin! I’m happy you messaged me and I’m so sorry for all the ignorance and hateful unwarranted messages you have received. It’s their loss not yours and sadly your gonna come across those who deny their ancestors took part in slavery. I’m white and I have had my fair share of arguments with cousins about it. Knowing full well that our ancestors were from the south, had plantations and slave records from their land clearly show it. Not that it’s anything to be proud of, trust me the first record I came across made me sick for days.But to deny the dark past of American history is pretty much a slap in the face to the many descendants of all the souls that survived that horrible ordeal. I have dealt with many who don't care to relive the past yet if we don't learn from it we're doomed to repeat it right? I am sorry that they are in denial and are only making themselves look bad. Especially calling you the n word. I'm shaking my head on that one. You don't deserve that. You're not the n word. Their ignorance speaks volumes on the people they are.

With that said I will never talk down to you and I'll show you the same respect that I would want in return. So hello cousin, I'm am all for figuring out our relation and I hope you don't let the ignorance of others make you steer clear of doing your research. My mom used to say all the time "a cousin is a cousin no matter the distance." I gotta admit reading your message made me pretty angry for you. The audacity of some people is astounding. 

I just got another notification after I messaged him from ancestry that said

hello cousin! Thank you so much you have no idea how much you have made my morning. I cannot stop smiling right now. Thank you for the acknowledgement and understanding. For the message too. I am so glad I messaged you and don't worry I won't stop. But you are right its their loss. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so glad I took the leap and messaged you. 

I messaged him back that he didn't need to thank me. I'm only doing what I came to ancestry for. I wanted to find family. Extend myself out there. I wanted to find out my moms roots and see what the secrets were that her family was hiding. I am happy to help in anyway with his research and honestly I told him:

To deny the fact that my ancestors owned slaves would be a travesty. If you deny what your ancestors did than you deny the descendants from knowing where they came from, from knowing their ancestors struggles and deny them of ever knowing the truth. 

I'm not about to do that. Its not right. I would rather know my cousins from all walks of life than to continue to show ignorance that unfortunately may never leave this world. I was raised to accept people for who they are on the inside not on the out. There is far more to a person than the color of their skin. I live up to that. I'm teaching my children that. So we're cousins. We share DNA. We share an ancestor. If they don't like it than that is on them but please know that not all of your cousins feel like them. 

I'm not going to call you the n word or treat you as if you're below me because of the color of your skin. You treat those with the same respect you wish to be treated. 

DNA shows that I have a many times great grandfather that had slaves and had non consensual relations with female slaves and in return they had descendants. Those descendants share DNA with me which makes them my cousin. Anybody who denies them clearly doesn't understand how DNA works and are only hurting their chances of knowing some really great people. We can't change the past but we can make it right.

I'm all for making it right.

DNA doesn't lie. 

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