Halloween is my most favorite holiday. I absolutely look forward to it every year. Not because I get to see my kiddos dressed up. Even though I love it. I just feel a strong connection to all Hallows Eve. I believe my Celtic ancestors have something to do with that. Even though for them it wasn't about dressing up and partying or giving candy to little kids. It was a spiritual and a deeper meaning.
Halloween is a day we get to celebrate and have fun. But also keep in mind that its also the day where autistic children don't understand the fuss. My son Landon for instance could care less about dressing up. Whereas his sister and his twin brothers are stoked about getting tons of candy. For Landon its just another day. Finding a costume for him is a chore. Every year we struggle to find a costume that doesn't require a hat or mask. It seems like every costume has them. So last year I put together a Incredible Hulk costume for him and it worked out. The only time we found a hat he would wear was when he was Jimmy Johnson (Nascar driver) for Halloween one year. It was cute.
The biggest struggle is understanding from people. That's the thing. Some people don't and we would spend a lot of time explaining why Landon didn't want to walk up to get candy. How Landon would sit down on the porch in meltdown mode because he was overwhelmed by all the children. Or the time he grabbed a handful when he didn't understand to grab one and a woman flipped out. Only to have a person on the next house over give him three handfuls because she heard the woman saying we didn't need to be taking him trick or treating because hes special needs. That was a couple of years ago. Now every year we go to the same neighborhood and the people in it have never given us strife. They are very understanding of the fact that Landon is special needs. He was first diagnosed with cognitive impairment then autism. So hes twelve years old with the mindset half his age. He has learned to only take one piece of candy though. Especially his favorite Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. That's pretty much the only thing he will eat in his bag and while his sister and brothers go through their candy in weeks. Last pillow case lasted six months. Mainly because hes not a big candy eater and wasn't eating any of it.
What I really want to say is I wish there was a way to spread awareness to everyone passing out candy to be mindful of the child that comes to their door. That not every kid is gonna understand to take one piece. Not every kid is gonna walk up in a costume they find cute or scary. I saw a special needs boy dressed up as a businessman last year because he loves suits and didn't want to wear a costume. I told his mom "hey whatever works for him." He was happy and that's all that matters. Landon was the incredible hulk but didn't wear green makeup on his face because he would've spent the entire time wanting us to rub it off. So we opted not to do it.
I wish we could spread awareness to not pass judgement on the parents who are trying their best to get their kid off the ground because he or she is in straight up meltdown mode. If you don't know what it takes to calm down an autistic child while they're trying to harm themself keep your opinion and judgement to yourself. Try walking in our shoes for one day and see how quickly those opinions stop. Its not easy. Its not easy trying to explain to grown people what is wrong with my son. I actually became resentful of people in public because of it. The stares, the whispering and the comments is the reason so many friends of mine don't want to take their kids out in public because it embarrasses them when their kid has a meltdown. Whereas I don't care. My kid goes into meltdown mode and you want to stare or make a comment? Prepare to hear me say something you might not like.
I'm hoping we have a successful Halloween again this year. Trick or treating is supposed to be fun, Halloween is supposed to be fun. As adults we all should show some understand and awareness that even though some on the spectrum don't truly grasp what is going on that there is a feeling of excitement there. In fact Landon got the hang of trick or treating when he realized they were putting the "good candy" in his pillow case. After that he was going to every door with a smile on his face. Made the cold rainy night in Michigan worth it.
This Halloween please by mindful of the kids who are different. Don't ridicule them. Don't ridicule the parents when they're trying their best and most of all don't pass judgement. Don't make the family of a special needs or kid on the autism spectrum feel unwelcomed because you don't understand why the kid is flapping his hands or quirky behaviors. Its part of the spectrum we parents deal with and honestly I wouldn't trade it for anything. I know other parents feel opposite and wish their kid was normal but I see it as a part of Landon. Take it away and he wouldn't be Landon. He would be a totally different kid and of course autism doesn't define him but its a part of him. A part that I accepted since day one.
What is Landon going to dress up as for Halloween? We have no idea. Any suggestions are welcomed as long as they don't involve a mask.
