Isolation- What a Special Needs Parent

Doesn’t need. I have experienced this myself among family, friends and total strangers. It’s the loneliest feeling on the planet and I have a few special needs moms that would agree. It hurts the soul. Let me give you an example. My dad had my siblings and their families over for dinner but not once was my family ever invited. Never mentioned it either in fact I had no clue until a sibling said something and it did bother me cause o know it’s becahse of Landon. Just like many parties or social events. It’s the reason I literally don’t care to go. Granted I missed a cousins wedding for my kid cause my kid wanted me there. I’m gonna choose my daughter first and foremost.

I was talking with a band mom before the homecoming football game about this very subject. Her sister is going through the same. Left out a lot and was never invited to functions let alone play dates. I told her I knew how that felt. I have lost friends. I have learned to isolate myself from everyone because I feel like I can’t relate to no one. She said that her sister has done the same and it’s sad. There is nothing like feeling that you don’t belong in a room full of people when you mention the fact that you have four kids and one is special needs. It’s like they make their fingers into a cross sign and get away as fast as they can. I literally felt that way last week talking to a few band moms.

It’s like your kid has a disease they’re afraid of catching. It pisses me off so much and I just want to go off sometimes. But I don’t. I walk away. Go to the stands  and wait for my kid to greet me in her marching band uniform. Honestly the mention of a special needs mom makes you see the true colors of people. Maybe they do it because they don’t know hoe to relate or what to say. Maybe their ignorance is getting the best of them. Maybe they feel sorry for me and don’t know how to express it in fear of offending me.

Here’s a clue. I’m a human being. Treat me like you would anyone else. You can talk to me I won’t bite. I have an eclectic taste in music and movies. I love history. Books. I could recommend some great books depending on your genre. I don’t know much about art but hey we can conversate about art or sculptures if you like. Hell even sports. Maybe not much baseball but I do like football and hockey. If you want to talk about everyday life and raising teenagers hey I’m down for that too.

I read the article the other day on this very subject. It’s sad that it’s even a subject. It’s ansolutely heartbreaking to know that many special needs parents feel the way I do. Why should it be that way? Just cause people can’t relate or feel sorry for us. Don’t. We don’t need sympathy for raising a child or children who won’t have the easiest life. What we need from you is a sense of belonging. If you can do that for a special needs parent it would make a huge impact. Trust me cause I always wish someone aside for my hisband was there for me.